


Five Going on 30

by ellaphunt19



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - 13 Going on 30, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, F/M, Five is Jenna Rink, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Other Hargreeves are ‘Six Chicks’, Romantic Comedy, Vanya is Matt Flamhaff, i adore this movie a lot and hope i do it justice, i promise this isn't crack, it's refreshing to write five as a dork for once, reminds me of my youth (and present self)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaphunt19/pseuds/ellaphunt19
Summary: It’s Five’s thirteenth birthday, and all he ever wanted was to be Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving.Be careful what you wish for, Five.[13 Going on 30 AU]
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 122
Kudos: 111
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	1. Operation T.F.T.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunchime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunchime/gifts), [fiveyaaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/gifts).



> This is dedicated to Clover and Tori, who deserve gold medals for keeping me sane as I write my first multi-chapter story. I appreciate your support as I spam my thoughts into the DMs, and I really couldn't have made it this far without you both! <3
> 
> Clover - I wouldn’t be posting this had I not stumbled upon your brilliant idea of a 13 Going on 30 AU for Fiveya. You’re such a talented writer and artist! Check out her art on Tumblr at [liquidsparks](https://liquidsparks.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Tori - You work so hard for the Fiveya community and I am still absolutely floored by how you constantly spoil us with all of your fantastic fics. You’re amazing! You can also follow them on Tumblr at [fiveyaaas](https://fiveyaaas.tumblr.com/).
> 
> -
> 
> This is my submission for the Fiveya Week Prompt - Free Choice. For those who have watched 13 Going On 30, there will be scenes and dialogues that you'll recognize from the movie, but you’ll also find twists and turns along the way. I hope you enjoy the ride with me!

Five shifted uncomfortably on the stool, a few moments away from getting his high school picture taken. As he waited for the photographer to adjust the lighting, he stared across the room of the gymnasium, catching sight of his high school emblem. 

_The Umbrella Academy: Ut Malum Pluvia_

And right below it, a banner that read, _“Go Sparrows!”_

It had been a few months into his freshman year, and he still hadn’t found any logical correlation between his school name and mascot. Then again, a sparrow was much more appealing compared to an umbrella with a cartoon face slapped onto it.

“Now, look right up at the camera, okay? Here we go.” The photographer instructed in a monotone voice, standing behind the camera. “Can you tilt your head a bit to the right, Clive?” 

“It’s Five,” Five corrected, following the man’s instruction.

“Look over here, Clive.” The photographer tapped at the lens. “Right here.”

“I said it’s Five,” he clarified louder, adjusting the blazer of his school uniform before resting his hands on his lap. 

“Alright, perfect. Nice smile, Clive.” The photographer hunched behind the camera, lifting his fingers as he began counting down. “In three, two, one.”

_Oh for Christ’s_ _sake._

Five snarled, “It’s Fi—!”

**Flash _._**

* * *

_Fuck._

Five lifted up his Picture Day photo, staring at the terrifying way his eyes bulged and his mouth widened. There had to be make-up photos, right? He would rather chew off his own foot than allow this photo to see the light of day, especially in his freshman high school yearbook. 

As the school bell rang, Five slowly walked down the hallway towards the exit, keeping his eyes on the envelope that contained exactly twelve copies of his awful photo. Surely fire would be the best option to hide the evidence, but he wondered how he could get away with it without his mother noticing. Five suddenly felt an arm wrap around his neck, bringing him close. He tensed, quickly pressing the envelope against his chest to hide the image, but he immediately relaxed as soon as he realized who it was. 

“Say cheese!” Vanya prompted with a grin. Her braces sparkled against the fluorescent lighting of the hallway while she adjusted the position of the disposable camera in front of them.

Five awkwardly curved his lips upward, facing forward. After hearing a soft click, he let out a breath. “No more pictures, V.”

He had enough of them for today.

“Come on, can you try not being crabby for _one_ second?” Vanya lifted the disposable camera higher. “It’s your thirteenth birthday! I promised your mom I’d document every moment of it while we were at school.”

Five shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. Vanya Belyaev had been his best friend and next door neighbor since preschool. When their parents had set up their first playdate, Vanya had patiently listened to his four-year-old self ranting about his extreme hatred for Twinkies after he had gotten a terrible case of food poisoning. He instantly took a liking to her once she had voiced her solidarity by promising that she would never eat a Twinkie again. 

According to his mother, Grace, that was all it took for his younger self to break his piggy bank in order to gather enough nickels and dimes to propose to Vanya with a Ring Pop, knowing that his future wife had to also dislike Twinkies in order for the marriage to work out. He insisted it be a Ring Pop because Vanya didn't like carrots (at the time, he thought that's what carats meant). They’ve been inseparable ever since.

It was an embarrassing memory that he decided not to disclose to Vanya. Five wouldn't even have remembered it had it not been for his mom mentioning the story when they had passed the pile of Ring Pops in the candy aisle last week. 

“So how'd your picture turn out?” Vanya asked curiously, carefully placing the disposable camera into her backpack.

Five grimaced, looking around to ensure no one else was nearby before handing her the envelope. “See for yourself.”

Vanya covered her mouth to hold in her laughter, but it proved useless once she let out a snort. “Five, _what_ _happened_?”

“The photographer’s a moron was what happened,” Five scowled. “He kept calling me _Clive_ , Vanya. Do you know how infuriating that is?”

“Just take a make-up photo, Clive,” Vanya teased, earning her another disgruntled look from Five. “I think retakes are in two weeks.”

“Yeah, well, it better not be the same...” Five’s voice trailed off, catching sight of the group of teenagers down the hallway. 

Five Hive was the most popular clique in the Umbrella Academy, consisting of five members: Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, and Ben. Luther was known to be the leader of the group with his tall, physical presence alone making him stick out like a sore thumb, but quite honestly, Five believed that Allison and Klaus were the two forces to be reckoned with. Allison was known for sweet-talking just about anyone to give her what she wanted while Klaus used his perception and wit to get away with any sticky situation he threw themselves into. Diego was more brazen, using his boisterous nature to steal the spotlight, especially from Luther. Ben seemed to be the most passive in their group, always having his nose buried in a new book instead of participating in their antics. They were the powerhouses of the school, which was undeniably clear by how the other students naturally formed a pathway for them as they walked down the hall.

And they were coming his way.

“Shit,” Five cursed under his breath, quickly snatching the envelope from Vanya and fumbling to stuff it into his backpack.

He immediately straightened up after doing so, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

“Hey,” Five coolly said with a nod once they had approached him and Vanya, the group responding with greetings of their own. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, making a conscious effort to keep his tone low and even. Five was horrified to discover that his voice had started cracking, Vanya cackling for ten whole minutes when he had asked her to pass the stapler while doing their homework.

“Hey Train Tracks,” Diego called, eyes directed at Vanya. “How’s it like at the station lately?”

Five and Vanya quietly exchanged glances. Ever since Vanya had gotten braces, Diego had been calling her all sorts of predictable nicknames. He was just joking around, Five assumed, considering that the group poked fun at each other all the time. They had a sense of humor that Vanya didn’t understand, but he hated to see how much it had lowered his best friend’s confidence. To help her out, Five had recently shared potential remarks to use against Diego.

“Well, I can't complain,” Vanya muttered, breaking her gaze away from Five and drawing her attention back at Diego. “Thankfully, there’s a way to fix my face. What’s your excuse?” 

That one was his favorite comeback. 

Ben let out a chuckle, eyes never leaving his book. “She got you there, Diego.”

“Vanya,” Klaus seemed like he wasn’t sure whether he should be impressed or surprised, one hand pressed against his chest while the other clamped on Diego’s shoulder. “Your claws are showing.”

Diego glowered, jerking his side away from Klaus’ grip and gritted, “Please, someone as _ordinary_ as Vanya wouldn’t faze me.” 

“Five, can we talk to you for a sec?” Allison flashed her teeth, completely ignoring the bickering from the other half of the group. 

Five was stunned. Allison rarely initiated conversation with him before, and turned his head to look at Vanya.

“I’ll meet you out front,” Vanya quietly affirmed. 

Five nodded in response, watching her retreating figure as he turned back over at Allison. “What is it?”

“So, we mentioned to Delores that we were going to your party,” Allison's grin widened. “And she said she wanted to come with.”

Five felt his breath hitch. “Really? Delores said that?” Delores Manikyn was _only_ his crush since middle school. He had done everything to get her to notice him, but it was impossible when she was one of the prettiest girls in school. 

“Don't we have that group project to do though?” Luther inquired.

“Oh, shoot. You're right, Luther. I completely forgot about it.”

“Group project?” Five asked.

“Mr. Pogo is up our butts with this group proposal about the social behavior of chimpanzees, and Delores was going to help us out.” Allison continued, “So I guess she can’t come either.” 

“What a bummer,” Klaus pouted. “It's too bad we can’t make it because we _really_ wanted to go.”

Five mentally scrambled for solutions. He _needed_ Five Hive, and now Delores, to come to his party tonight. He couldn't let his plans leading up to his thirteenth birthday slip through the cracks now. He blurted the most viable suggestion he could offer, “I could write the report for you.” 

“Aw, Five, you'd really do that? You're the best.”

“Great, thanks Five! We’ll see you soon.”

“See you at the party, man.”

“Thanks, Five.”

“Knew we could count on you!”

Five Hive gave him resounding praises, high fives, and pats on the back as they walked past him, and Five gladly basked in the glory.

* * *

“I can’t believe you invited those jerks.” Vanya complained, walking next to Five on their way home from school.

“They’re my friends, V.”

Vanya stared at him as if he had grown two heads. “Are you nuts? Five Hive are _not_ your friends.” 

“Okay fine, almost my friends. But by the end of tonight, you can consider me the newest member of Five Hive,” he smugly announced, head held up high as he gripped onto the straps of his backpack. 

Five had it all planned out. His thirteenth birthday was the perfect opportunity to prove to them that he belonged in their circle of friends. What Five wanted more than anything was to be at the top, and he was sure to get it by giving Five Hive the best night of their lives. At least, what's considered to be the best night of their lives in the basement of his mom’s suburban household.

He called the plan Operation T.F.T., short for Operation Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving. It was the slogan of a perfume advertisement that he had come across when he and Vanya were reading through his latest subscription of _National Geographic_. Five was drawn by the suave businessman who looked like he had all the power and confidence needed to succeed in life. So, he was set to redefine himself and make it happen by joining Five Hive.

“There can’t be a sixth member in Five Hive,” Vanya reasoned. “There’s already five of them in the group. You of all people should know that’s mathematically impossible.”

“V, in case you haven't noticed, my name is Five. I’m an exception to that rule.” He shot her a shit-eating grin as she rolled her eyes. “Besides, it would make an even more compelling argument to have _me_ be the leader of Five Hive some day.” If that were to happen, he could get Diego to stop teasing Vanya about her braces while he was at it. As they walked, Five lightly bumped his arm against her. “Proud of you for standing up for yourself by the way,” he praised. “I told you it’d make Diego clamp up.” 

“Well, he was right about one thing,” Vanya’s mouth formed a thin line, casting her eyes down at the sidewalk, “I am pretty ordinary.”

“V, he’s only joking around. That’s just how they are in Five Hive.” As they reached the front of their destination, he walked a few steps ahead of Vanya, turned, and rested his hands onto her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. “You and I both know how extraordinary you are,” he reassured, tilting his head down so his eyes met with her own. 

And he meant it. He wouldn’t call just anyone his best friend. Vanya was the most empathetic, smartest, and talented person he had ever known. He especially found her to be most extraordinary when she would play the violin, something she had picked up when they were six years old. He was sure that she was going to be a first chair violinist some day, and he would be right by her side to support her every step of the way.

Vanya let out a soft smile, her cheeks reddening. “Thanks, Five.”

Five straightened up, tucking a few strands of Vanya’s hair behind her ear. “No need to thank me when it's the truth.”

Her blush only deepened, shyly breaking eye contact. It was still fascinating to Five how timid his best friend could get whenever she received compliments from others, even when it came from himself.

Maybe he should do it more often.

After a moment of silence, Vanya grabbed her backpack from behind, unzipping the front. “Want to split a Fudge Nutter before we say goodbye?” she asked, taking out Five’s beloved candy bar from the pocket.

“Do you even need to ask?”

Vanya laughed, opening the wrapper and breaking off the Fudge Nutter into two separate pieces. Five never understood why Vanya seemed to have trouble cutting the piece right down the middle, but he never complained, considering that she always gave him the bigger half.

“I’ll see you in two hours?” Vanya questioned with a nervous, but excited grin as she chewed on her piece of the chocolate bar. 

Five tilted his head, noticing her anxiousness as he took a bite of his own. He still had to write Five Hive’s report before the party started, so he decided to ask her about it later. “Yeah, see you in heaven, Seven.” 

“Stay alive, Five.” Vanya adjusted her backpack and began making her way towards her house, waving goodbye.

It was a silly inside joke they would say to each other before going their separate ways. When they were eleven, Vanya had been jealous of Five’s numerical name, so he had asked her what number she’d want to be called. He didn't realize how much she cared about it until she had dragged him to their local library to research the matter. She had eventually chosen the number seven. 

Her reason? Seven was valued in most aspects, including society, culture, religion, and mythology. And Vanya hoped that she would be as significant as her number some day.

* * *

Five sighed in relief, completing Five Hive’s report with just enough time to get dressed for the party. As he began removing his blazer and unbuttoning his white collared shirt, he caught sight of a strand of hair.

Oh, shit. Is that chest hair?

He stared at it in shock, beaming at the newfound discovery.

His excitement quickly vanished as soon as his mother opened the door with a video camera in hand.

“Happy Birthday, sweetie!” Grace cheerfully exclaimed, “Smile for the camera!”

“Mom!” Five stumbled back, trying to cover his half naked body with his arms. “Do you _mind_?”

Grace placed the video camera on top of his desk and gasped, “Is that a chest hair I see? I can grab my tweezers from my bedroom if you’d like.”

“ _No_! Mom, go away. Please.” Five’s voice cracked, making him even more mortified of the situation. He let out a groan as he held his hand over his one chest hair for dear life.

“Is everything okay, honey? You know you can talk to me.” 

“How could everything possibly be okay? _Look at me._ ” He sighed, sitting down on his bed. How on earth would he be able to look as charming as the businessman in the advertisement when all he had were weak limbs, acne, and a cracked voice?

Grace’s eyes softened, as she sat down on the bed next to him. “What I see is my little boy growing up.”

“I don’t want to be a little boy,” he grumbled in frustration. “I want to be thirty.” 

_Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving._

“Thirty?” Grace repeated, blinking in surprise. “Well, you will be thirty eventually, sweetie. But for now, you’re my handsome thirteen-year-old.” 

That didn't make him feel any better. He forced out a smile, hoping it would appease his mother so she wouldn't continue worrying, burying his other thoughts into the back of his mind. “Yeah, you're right. Thanks Mom.” 

Grace gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up and walking out of his room with the video recorder in hand, closing the door shut behind her.

As soon as he heard the soft click of the door, Five sprang off his bed to marvel at his new strand of chest hair in the mirror. 

* * *

“Happy Birthday, Five!” Vanya bursted through the door of the basement, a medium-sized box in hand as she walked down the staircase. 

“Hey, V,” Five greeted as he finished unloading the final bag of snacks into the bowl before walking up to her. His curiosity piqued upon seeing the box she held. “What's this?”

“This is just part one of your present. I…” Vanya handed the box to Five and looked away, “I have something else to give you later tonight.” 

There she was being nervous again. Before he could ask her what was wrong, Vanya’s expression quickly brightened again as she tugged on his hand, leading him towards the couch to sit down. “So, you know how you always said how you would one day come up with the sequential equations necessary to allow us to time travel?”

Five nodded, still unclear with where she was getting at as he began carefully tearing off the wrapping paper.

“Well,” Vanya drawled as Five opened the box. “I decided to make you your first prototype.” 

For once in his life, Five was at a loss for words. His mouth slightly parted, taking in every detail that Vanya had thoughtfully considered in his present. The cutely decorated cardboard resembled a cuckoo clock, adorned with colorful numbered stickers around the entire house shaped box. The face of where the clock should have been was replaced with a TI-30X IIS scientific calculator, and right above was an arch shaped hole that had a lightbulb peeking inside of it. 

“You made me a time machine.” It wasn't a question. He had described to Vanya in the past how he envisioned a time machine to actually look like, thinking that it would be better to be a little more discreet than a huge clunky machine like how movies portrayed it.

“Yeah, exactly! I mean, it doesn’t _actually_ work.” Vanya laughed. “But the calculator does - I remember you telling me your current one was starting to act up. I added those stick-on velcro strips to the calculator’s cover and the cardboard, so you can just rip it right off when we do our math homework.” She demonstrated this by tearing the calculator off, the familiar sound of velcro ripping apart once she did so, and sticking it back on. 

After another moment of silence, he asked, “V, you did this all on your own?”

“For the most part. I did have to ask my parents for _a little_ help when I was having trouble wiring the light to the switch.” Vanya flipped the small switch on the side of box, and sure enough, the time machine began to emit a dull glow from where the arched hole was cut out. “I was hoping you could place it on your nightstand as a nightlight.”

Vanya was the only one who knew about his fear of the dark. Or, well, he was sure his mother knew by the way Grace would have the door crack open to show a small ray of light when he went to bed, but he’s only ever admitted it to Vanya out loud. As expected, she reassured him that it wasn't anything to be ashamed about, confiding in him about her fear of small spaces after his confession.

Five stared at the machine dumbfounded, which caused Vanya to uncomfortably shift from where she sat. “Do you not like it? Maybe I should've gotten you that physics book after all.”

“Are you kidding me?” Five finally spoke, placing the time machine carefully on the table before pulling her into a hug, causing Vanya to yelp in surprise. He rested his chin on top of her head. “I don't just like it. I _love_ it, V. Thank you.” 

His best friend was truly extraordinary.

“You’re welcome,” she answered with a sheepish smile, reciprocating the hug. “Oh, I almost forgot!” Vanya pulled away from the embrace after a few seconds, reaching for her jean pocket to reveal a small bag. 

“Wishing dust?” Five questioned after reading the label, skepticism dripping in his voice.

“Yeah, the back of the bag says, ‘This wishing dust knows what’s in your heart of hearts. It’ll make your dreams come true.’ I thought it was fitting, being your thirteenth birthday and all, so you can make a wish.” Vanya tore open the bag of wishing dust and began sprinkling it on top of the time machine without hesitation, a good portion of the dust falling into the arched hole of the cardboard.

“This will be a nightmare to clean up later,” he pointed out. 

“Do you want your wish or not?” Vanya pouted, tilting the bag up to stop it from falling. 

Five gave a chuckle and stopped pressing further. “Alright, fine.” 

After Vanya had sprinkled the remaining dust onto the machine, the doorbell rang. 

“Shit, they’re here. V, I’m just going to put this away for now, okay?” Five flipped the switch of the time machine off and walked towards the closet as Vanya quietly watched him carefully place it on the top of the shelf. “Put some music on while I get the door.”

Five ran upstairs, quickly adjusting the collar of his polo shirt as he cleared his throat. He swung the door open to see Five Hive standing on his front porch. Behind them, he caught sight of Delores and a couple of her other friends that he recognized from school.

_Stay calm, Five. You can do this._

“Hey guys,” he greeted casually, a smirk appearing on his face. “The party’s downstairs.” 

Operation T.F.T. had officially commenced.

* * *

Everyone stood awkwardly around in a circle as Gigue from Partita No. 2 in D minor played in the background. 

“What is this?” Luther whispered to Five.

“I’m not sure,” he said quietly. He was lying, of course, it had been one of his favorite pieces that Vanya would play for him on the violin. “It’s Vanya’s.” 

“Sorry, Braceface. Majority rules,” Diego said as he headed towards the cassette player to remove the tape that was playing and inserting a mix tape of his own. 

“Hey, careful with that.” Vanya frowned, grabbing the audio cassette from Diego and walking over to Five. “I’m going to go next door and get my violin.”

Five nervously glanced at the group behind Vanya, a few of them groaning at her words. He panicked once he saw Delores frown in disapproval.

“Do whatever you want, Vanya,” Five stated. “It’s not like I need a play-by-play.”

Laughter engulfed the room, much to his satisfaction. However, it instantly turned to regret as soon as he saw the flash of hurt in Vanya’s eyes. Five bit the inside of his cheek, a feeling of dread suddenly bubbling up inside him as soon as the words left his mouth. He made a mental note to apologize to Vanya as soon as they were alone, trying to restrain himself from chasing after her up the stairs. 

Operation T.F.T. was the priority tonight. Vanya would understand, and he'd be sure to make it up to her later.

“Good riddance,” Diego muttered, only for Ben to elbow him in the ribs. “Ow, _what_? She was bringing the whole party down!”

“So, what now?” Luther asked, munching on some Cheeseballs that he had taken from the snack table.

“I have an idea,” Allison proposed with a small smile, glancing at Klaus. “Let’s play Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

“Good idea, Allison,” Klaus agreed with a glint in his eye. He wrapped his arm around Five, guiding him across the room. “You can go first, birthday boy.” 

Seven Minutes in Heaven?

_See you in heaven,_ _Seven._

He had never heard of the game before, but he didn’t want to seem like a complete idiot. “Oh, sure,” he said nonchalantly. “How does that one go, again?”

“Well, Five. It’s easy, really. You go in the closet blindfolded, and some lucky person is gonna go in there and do _whatever_ they want with you for seven whole minutes.”

“And guess who wants to go first," Allison whispered, catching up with Klaus and Five.

“Who?”

Allison placed the side of her hand onto her cheek as she murmured, “Delores Manikyn.”

“R-really?” Five tried to clear his throat when he noticed how his voice squeaked.

“Really.”

Once they reached the closet, Klaus untied his neck scarf and wrapped it around Five’s eyes. Five suddenly felt a pang of fear as he temporarily lost his vision, but he quickly reminded himself that seven minutes in darkness would be worth it if it meant having Operation T.F.T. become a complete success.

“Before we forget,” Klaus asked offhandedly, “Where’s our group report?”

“On the table," Five answered absentmindedly, too distracted about the current situation to think much further.

“Remember, no peeking. And just so you know,” Allison softly spoke. “Delores _loves_ going for second base.” 

Five gulped as he listened to the soft click of the closet door closing. What the fuck does _that_ mean? Five wasn’t into sports, but now he wished he understood the terms. 

* * *

Five heard the door creak open, his body stiffening from the noise as he sat on the ground, leaning his back on the shelf. He could feel his heartbeat pounding up to his ears. “I thought you weren’t gonna come," he said as smoothly as possible. He was proud of himself that his voice didn’t crack. 

He could only hear rustling from Delores’ end. “Sorry, I can’t really see anything. Where are you?” He asked softly, outstretching his arms forward, only to feel hands interlocking with his own. It only made his palms sweat, a blush suddenly rushing up to his cheeks.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, Delores.”

“Delores?” Voice sounding pained, the hands he had previously held yanked away from him as if they had just touched a hot stove. “It’s Vanya.” 

_What?_

Five tore off the blindfold from his face, only to see Vanya just inches away. “What are you doing here? Where’s Delores?”

“I- She’s gone, Five,” Vanya said in confusion, her brows furrowing. “Everybody left.”

“What did you do?” Five accused, standing up from the floor and scrambling out of the closet. It was true. Everyone was gone. He wasn't even in that closet for that long. What had Vanya done to ruin this for him?

“Nothing!” Vanya frowned, “I saw them all walk up the stairs by the time I came back.” 

“You’re lying.” Five refused to believe she didn't have any part of this, especially when the group seemed to be having fun when she hadn't been there. 

“Five, why would I lie to you? I just got back from getting my violin,” Vanya said in defense, pointing at the violin that she placed on the table. “Klaus said—”

“Get out.” 

“What? Five, just listen to me, _please_.”

Didn't Vanya understand that he was also trying to join Five Hive for her sake? If he could just get into the group and get his way to the top, she would’ve also been a part of it. Five would make sure of it. He was fully aware of how much she disapproved of the idea of him joining Five Hive. Was she worried about feeling left out? If that was the case, she should have just said so instead of manipulating the situation behind his back.

“I said get out!” Five growled, running back to the closet and slamming the door shut. “I hate you!” He knew that wasn’t true. He could never bring himself to hate Vanya, not ever, but he was just _so_ angry at her. 

But truthfully, he was most angry at himself.

“I hate _me_!” He gasped, feeling tears prickling in his eyes at how true _these_ words were. He thought about it often, how much he detested himself, but hearing him say the three words out loud only made it much more real. He loathed the way he looked - his gangly body, his acne, his cracking voice. He hated being the awkward age of thirteen, not really knowing what the hell he was really doing, but pretending that he knew everything for the sake of saving face. 

“Five? You have to believe me. I would _never_ try to do anything to hurt you. Just open the door,” Vanya pleaded with a shaky voice. 

She was crying, and so was he.

“Here, let me play you this song. It’ll make you feel better.”

Five could hear her sniffle as her muffled steps left the closet door momentarily, before shuffling back in front of the closet.

The faint music from Vanya’s violin began to fill his ears, and it helped his body slightly relax. Five turned around and looked up at the shelf, wiping a few tears from his cheeks. If he was planning to lock himself in the closet for longer than he anticipated, he needed a light source before his fear of the dark caught up to him. 

He felt around for the time machine, some of the wishing dust landing on top of his head as he pulled it off the shelf. Great, now he had to clean that up later. 

The image of the perfume advertisement with the successful businessman popped up in his mind. 

He would _kill_ to skip his teenage years and jump forward in time. If only this machine actually worked.

_Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving._

He flipped the switch, watching the lightbulb of the time machine flicker on. 

* * *

Five grumbled from the sound of the alarm, feeling around his nightstand to shut it off. Drowsily, he rolled out of his bed and sat up straight, wiping the drool from the side of his mouth. He could feel something prickle the side of his hand as he did so, but dismissed it. 

What day was it again? His birthday was yesterday, so it must be Friday. He had a math test and an english presentation at school today. He also had to apologize to Vanya for hurting her feelings, despite still being upset at her for foiling Operation T.F.T.

He sighed, pulling off his sheets, shivering from the sudden gesture. Eyes still closed, he swung his legs off the bed and began walking forward. He knew the path from his bed to the bathroom by heart, and never needed to actually look at where he was going to arrive at his destination.

He guessed there was a first for everything, since he just bumped his forehead into a wall.

“ _Ow._ ” There was never a wall there before. If Five wasn’t awake earlier, he sure as hell was awake now. His eyes shot up, frantically looking around his surroundings.

This wasn’t his room. 

“Mom?” He called. 

No answer.

He blinked, surveying the room that was three times the size of his bedroom. 

“Mom?” Five called again, a little louder this time.

Still no answer.

He quickly stepped out of the room, making his way down the hallway. Five was in an apartment, a pretty big one at that. He glanced at the mirror he walked past and immediately came to a halt. 

Standing in front of Five was not his thirteen-year-old body, but a grown man. 

He stared at his reflection with wide eyes. His acne was replaced by stubble that he had disregarded prickling his hand earlier. Five began patting around his body, taking note of the sudden definition and muscle in his arms. He pulled the collar of his white cotton shirt he had been wearing and looked down. 

There was most definitely more than one chest hair. 

_Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving._

“Holy shit.”

It worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> To end this chapter on a fun note, below is how I envisioned Five’s picture day photo to look like as he angrily yelled at the photographer for calling him Clive. Shout out to Clover for making this photo edit for me - I laughed for days.
> 
>   
> 


	2. Apartment 57

This was a dream, right? It had to be. There was no way in hell that Vanya’s time machine had actually worked. 

Five believed his best friend was extraordinary, but successfully unraveling the intricacies of time travel using cardboard, a light bulb, and a stick-on calculator sounded absolutely insane.

His left hand went straight to his head, trying to recall the events that transpired leading up to his current predicament. Five looked around the unfamiliar apartment once more, involuntarily tugging at a few locks of his hair. 

There had to be something to indicate where (and _when_ ) he was. His eyes landed on the pile of mail on the living room table. Five marched towards it and sat on the couch, sorting through the assortment of envelopes. Each one of them distinctively had “Five Hargreeves” printed front and center. 

He lived here.

Five ripped open a piece of mail, staring at the date on the top left corner of the letterhead as he mentally did the math.

He was thirty.

Suddenly, Five heard shuffling coming from another room and stiffened. 

He wasn’t alone.

Quietly, Five crept towards an umbrella that was leaning against the side of the wall. It wasn't ideal, but it was the closest object he could find in case the situation turned sour. It was merely in his possession as a precaution, he reasoned, not knowing what to expect from whatever timeline (or dream) this was. More commotion could be heard from the room and his grip tightened on the handle. Five held his breath as he pushed the door open, wincing at the sound of the creak.

Before he could even react, Five was suddenly pounced on by an excited Golden Retriever.

Five grunted, letting go of the umbrella to hold onto the door frame, trying to regain his balance. He stared at the dog with wide eyes as its paws rested on Five’s stomach. 

Five began stroking its back, going down on one knee as the dog placed all four paws back on the floor, “Hey there,” he murmured with a soft smile. “What’s your—” He paused, his other palm lifting the dog tag hanging around its neck as he read the engraving.

_Mr. Pennycrumb._

“Vanya?” Five called, standing upright as he rushed into every other available room in the hallway. “V, are you here?” 

No response.

When they were twelve, Five had brought up the idea of sharing an apartment with Vanya once they turned eighteen. It made perfect sense to him, considering that they saw each other practically every day as neighbors. It would be no different being a room away from one another once they were legally able to live on their own. He had explained to Vanya that it was beneficial for them to be roommates - they were best friends and already knew each other’s quirks, so it would already avoid the unnecessarily awkward adjustment period of trying to live with complete strangers. It would also save money if they split the rent and bills.

Vanya had been completely on board with the idea, excitedly steering the conversation to finding pet-friendly apartments. She had always wanted a dog. After bouncing off potential names, they had both agreed that Mr. Pennycrumb would be the perfect name for their future dog. Worried that Five would back out on getting a pet, Vanya had even forced him to seal the deal with a pinky promise. And to Vanya, pinky promises were equivalent to a legally binding contract in the court of law.

Five tried to hide his disappointment when he realized Vanya wasn't in the apartment. It made sense that they would probably no longer be roommates by the age of thirty. If Mr. Pennycrumb existed, he assumed that they ended up being roommates at one point in their lives. Both of them probably came to visit each other often enough anyway and had joint custody for the dog. 

Five continued to explore his foreign apartment with Mr. Pennycrumb merrily in tow, catching sight of the telephone on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it and immediately punched in his home number. Five anxiously drummed his fingers onto the counter, hearing it ring exactly four times before listening to the voicemail, feeling comforted at the sound of his mother’s voice. Good, she still lived there.

_“Hi there, you've reached the Hargreeves residence. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can!”_

_Beep._

“Mom? It’s me, Five. When you hear this, uh, please call me back.” 

Before Five attempted to dial Vanya’s home number next, he heard a knock behind him. He spun around to face the door. Should he answer it?

The knock only grew louder.

_Shit._

Five made his way towards the door and as soon as he swung it open, the man on the other end barged right in. “Hey Five, you weren’t coming out of your apartment so I thought I’d— _why aren’t you dressed yet?”_

Five stared at the man, brows furrowed. He called him by his name, so he gathered that he wasn't a complete stranger at least. Noticing that Mr. Pennycrumb didn't react negatively to the visitor bursting through the door, he wasn't a threat either.

“Five, please don’t do this to me. Not now.” The man groaned in distress as he rushed into the bedroom that Five had slept in, listening to the clanging of clothing hangers hitting against one another. Soon after, he came out with a three piece suit and shoved it into Five’s arms. “You’re already going to be late for the meeting.”

“Who are you?”

“... Are you seriously hungover again?” He asked, incredulous. “It’s me, Ben. Honestly, I deserve to get a raise since I’m doing _more_ than my required job description. I'm your executive assistant, not your babysitter,” he joked.

He had an assistant? Five took a closer look at the man, and after a moment, the memory of the boy with his nose buried in his book popped up in his mind. “Ben? As in, Ben from Five Hive?”

“God, I haven’t heard that label since high school. Yes, Five. It’s me, Ben from Five Hive,” Ben deadpanned. “We don’t have time for this. Please, just put on your suit so we can _go._ I don’t want to deal with the rest of Five Hive harping on us for being late to another meeting.”

_The rest of Five Hive?_

* * *

Five sat in the passenger’s seat of the car, glancing at Ben every now and then as he drove.

After he had finished changing into his suit, Five had fumbled with putting on his tie properly, a task he usually relied on Vanya to do during special occasions since she would constantly tease him about how crooked it looked whenever he did it on his own. Before he had left with Ben, Five placed a piece of mail in his coat pocket in case he needed reference to finding his apartment and ensured that Mr. Pennycrumb had enough food and water for the day before heading to what he assumed was work.

If he and Ben had known each other since they were thirteen, that meant they were close, right? 

“Ben, are we friends?”

His question seemed to make Ben on edge.

“I’ve heard that line before,” Ben said warily, shooting him a worried glance from the corner of his eye as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. “Five, did one of your one night stands get a pregnancy scare again?”

Five didn't know what a one night stand meant, but he figured it out given his understanding of the phrase “pregnancy scare” and nearly choked on his own spit. What did he mean _again_?

 _“No!”_ Five hastily replied, still recovering from the shock as heat rose to his cheeks. “Of course not.” 

At least, he _hoped_ not.

“Thank _God._ ” Ben's grip on the steering wheel relaxed along with the rest of his body. “Please keep it that way, especially with what happened last time. Don't press your luck.”

With the way Ben shuddered at the memory, Five didn’t even want to know.

“You said that the rest of Five Hive were waiting for us at the meeting. Does that mean we're all coworkers?”

Ben looked at him weirdly again. “I can’t tell if you’re shitting me or not, but fine, I’ll entertain whatever this is. Yes, Five, after all these years, your ever beloved Five Hive stuck together through thick and thin. I mean, knowing how competitive you get trying to be the leader at literally everything, I still don't understand why you decided to decline the Editor in Chief position to stay as Executive Editor. And suggesting that Klaus should get the promotion instead? Allison I can see, but _Klaus?”_

So that meant Klaus was his boss? Five also couldn’t quite fathom that idea, considering that if he had been offered that position now, he would’ve gladly accepted the challenge. He could do the job better than anybody, he was sure, even if he was mentally seventeen years younger than the rest of them. What had his thirty-year-old self been thinking? 

Not knowing what had possessed him to decline the offer, Five shrugged at Ben in response.

Five wanted to tell Ben what had happened, but the longer Ben talked about work, the more he believed that this wasn’t actually a dream after all. He wasn't sure how Ben would react to his theory that his thirteen-year-old consciousness mysteriously managed to time travel to his thirty-year-old body. Five wasn't trying to get a one-way ticket to the mental institution anytime soon. 

There was only one person he could trust, and he needed to figure out where she now lived.

“We’re here,” Ben said, parking the car on the side of the street. 

“Ben, to be quite frank with you, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be at the meeting right now. I need to—”

“No way, Five. You’re not weaseling yourself out of this meeting.” Ben frowned as he stepped out of the car.

Five sighed, getting out of the passenger's seat as he swung the car door shut. He looked up at the entrance of the building and gaped at the sign as realization dawned on him.

He was the Executive Editor for _National Geographic._

* * *

“Five, Ben!” The man greeted as he waltzed up to them as they walked down the office hallway. “I trust that you’re both late again because you were promoting us at parties.”

“You bet, Klaus,” Ben assured half-heartedly.

“Klaus?” Five asked, noting that his hair appeared to be much longer than when they were teenagers.  
  
“That’s right, Five,” Klaus said with a cheeky grin. “Who’s your daddy?”

When they had walked into the conference room, Five saw three people already settled in, and presumed them to be the remaining members of Five Hive.

“You’re late,” the disgruntled woman pointed out, crossing her arms. “Seriously Five, the launch party is tonight. I’ve been working my ass off coordinating this event and I can’t afford you slacking off now.” 

Before Five could respond, the person across from her chimed in, casually placing his feet on the table and crossing his ankles, “Cut him some slack, Allison. Five’s probably hungover right now. It’s not like he needed to listen to you debate about doing a last minute switch from Sapphire Blue to Chrome Royal Blue balloons for the party.”

“Allison’s right though, Diego,” the man sitting next to Allison agreed with a serious expression. “Our jobs depend on how the rest of the year goes. We can’t lose focus now.” 

“Of course you defend her,” Diego jabbed, rolling his eyes. “You always do. Talk about favoritism much, Luther?” 

As Diego and Luther could be heard squabbling incessantly in the background, Ben nonchalantly placed a notebook, pen, and cup of coffee in front of Five. 

“You’ll be okay on your own, right?” Ben asked, “Do you need anything else from me before I go?”

Five cocked his head, looking at Ben expectantly. “Like a favor?”

“Uh, sure,” Ben answered with uncertainty. “A favor.”

“I need you to find an address for me,” Five requested in a hushed voice, tearing off a sheet of paper from the notepad in front of him and quickly scribbling Vanya’s name and phone number. “If her parents answer, tell them I'm the one looking for her.”

Five handed it to Ben, who did a double take as soon as he read the scrap of paper, “Seriously? You’re looking for V—”

“Okay, everyone shut up, meeting is in session!” Klaus announced, clapping his hands twice to gather attention. “Christ, here I was thinking I can just delegate the work to all of you when I accepted this promotion, but you're all acting like a bunch of snot-nosed brats.”

Five and Ben exchanged glances, Ben still shooting Five a bewildered look before breaking eye contact and stepping out of the room. 

Five turned his gaze at the bulletin board in front of them, analyzing the various _National Geographic_ covers carefully placed alongside the _Smithsonian_ covers with the months displayed on top of each pair. He found it odd how the magazines had similar headlines, but the _Smithsonian_ covers had much more appealing photos and attention-grabbing text in comparison. Klaus ripped the cover of another _Smithsonian_ magazine in front of them before stabbing it with a thumbtack onto the board. 

“Seven months in a row now those assholes from the Smithsonian scooped us. I mean, it's like they've got cameras hidden in all of our walls.”

“Klaus, I’ve been working with our IT department to catch whoever’s behind this,” Diego reassured. “We're installing passwords. We're building firewalls on all the computers.”

“Five even fired Dot yesterday,” Luther added.

“You did?” Klaus inquired, turning his attention to Five.

_I did?_

“Good call,” Klaus nodded. “She probably has friends from the Smithsonian. She always took notes like a fucking nerd.”

“She was a secretary,” Allison pointed out.

“Yeah, _whatever._ No one asked you, Allison,” Klaus griped, earning a glare from her. “Anyway, our party tonight is a big deal. Sir Reginald is attending the event.”

“Sir Reginald?” Luther repeated, perking up at the name. “You mean the world-renowned sparrow conservationist?”

“Exactly. The higher ups want to ensure that tonight’s party will help make the _National Geographic_ ‘hot and happening’ so we can secure Sir Reggie as our speaker for our upcoming _National Geographic Live_ event.”

“When has it ever been hot and happening?” Diego quipped.

“Y’know Diego,” Klaus said with forced laughter, wagging his finger around. “If it weren't for the fact that we'd all be fucked if we don't impress the old man tonight, I would agree with you on this one. But we don't have that luxury right now. We also need to think about new heads, decks, and slugs for the next edition. Five, what do you think?”

 _What kind of language was he spouting?_  
  
Five stared at Klaus and blinked, blurting out the first excuse that came to mind, “I need to use the restroom.”

Four pairs of eyes stared back at him incredulously.

“Told you he was hungover again,” Diego commented with a knowing smirk.

* * *

Five perused through the names marked on the walls of the hallway until he found “Five Hargreeves” written on a plaque. 

Oh, shit. He had his own private office.

Five slipped into the room, scanning around to see if there were any sort of clues he could find about his new life. There were an assortment of photos that seemed to be more work related than personal. He ruffled through his desk drawers, only to catch a familiar picture. He hadn’t seen the picture developed, considering that Vanya had just taken the photo yesterday. 

Or at least, his yesterday. To everyone else it was seventeen years ago.

Five smiled fondly at the photo, happy to know that he and Vanya were still best friends in this timeline for him to keep a photo in his office. He searched through his desk for any other photos that had shown Vanya and him growing up, but came up short. 

Well, he was never a fan of taking photos, so he didn’t think much of it.

Five heard a knock on the door. He quickly placed the photo back into the drawer and pushed it shut, “Come in.”

“Hey Five,” Ben said, entering his office with a few post-it notes in hand. “Your mom just called.” 

“Just now? Why didn’t you transfer the call?”

Ben looked at him in a puzzled manner. “Because I told her you were busy?” 

“Why?”

“You… told me to screen all of your mother’s calls, Five.”

What the hell was he thinking? 

“Ah, I… forgot. Next time, send any of her calls my way.” 

“Noted. Also, I got Vanya’s address for you,” Ben said. “But… why do you need to know where she lives?”

If Ben knew how close he and Vanya were, Five could see how strange it seemed not knowing her address. 

Five decided that it was best to completely ignore Ben’s question, not wanting to share that he had no memory of what had happened from his thirteenth birthday until now. “Perfect. Thanks Ben,” Five said, swiping the post-it note from his hand and making his way out of the office. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, Five, where are you going? You still have a meeting this afternoon,” Ben cursed, hastening his footsteps. “Don’t forget I’m picking you up for tonight’s party! God, I need a raise.”

* * *

Five looked down at the address that Ben had scribbled on the post-it note, then looked up at the apartment complex. It didn’t seem as nice as his area, but it was a safe and quiet neighborhood to live in, much to his relief. 

_Apartment 57, huh?_

He smirked, wondering if Vanya had intentionally picked out those numbers. Maybe Five had encouraged her to choose it, or maybe this had been their old apartment. 

He could only hope that Vanya was home at that moment. To his luck, someone within the apartment complex opened the door and Five took that moment to sneak right in. He stepped into the elevator, pressing the button to the fifth floor and walked down the hallway until he arrived in front of Apartment 57, giving a firm knock.

After a few seconds, a woman opened the door, looking up at him. “Can I help you?”

He felt his heart quicken as brown eyes locked with green.

“Vanya?” Five whispered, “Is that really you?”

“Yeah? It’s me,” Vanya answered, looking at him oddly.

They didn't exactly end on the best terms yesterday, but he couldn't care less at this point. He found Vanya, and boy was she a sight for sore eyes after the strange day he's had. It was interesting how much he towered over her, considering that they had been the same height just yesterday. She still kept her bangs, and it looked nice seeing her hair up in a ponytail for a change, a few long strands resting on the sides of her face. “Wow, look at you. You look…”

_Beautiful._

“Different,” he heard himself say out loud.

“Are you interested in taking violin lessons? Usually my students aren’t older than fifteen,” Vanya asked while tilting her head.

“V, it’s me,” Five said, a wave of panic suddenly rushing over him. “You don’t know who I am?” 

“Five,” Vanya stated after studying him a while longer, grinning wider than the way he was used to seeing her smile. “Five Hargreeves. How could I ever forget you?”

Five let out a chuckle, relaxing his shoulders, “You scared me.” She must’ve been pulling his leg earlier, but he didn't mind. All that mattered was that he was finally reunited with his best friend, his sole confidante. And now Vanya could help him piece together what he had missed in the last seventeen years. “V, you won't believe what kind of day I’ve—”

Before Five could even finish his sentence, Vanya slammed the door shut, his eyes now staring at the golden apartment plaque labeled “57.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I still get a bit anxious putting my stories out there, but the positive support I’ve received from this community ever since I joined AO3 has helped a lot. Sending virtual hugs all around, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> For those who've watched 13GO30, I decided to make Five single. I felt like Jenna having a boyfriend in the movie was for added comic relief rather than playing a significant role to the plot. I would also be dreading writing any scenes that involved Five x S.O. because it's not Vanya, so I thought it’d be best to replace the character with Mr. Pennycrumb (who is canon in the comics) instead.


	3. Unfulfilled Pinky Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Just a heads up that the first section of this chapter will contain a panic attack. I will continue to make similar warnings in future chapters where I see fit to be on the safe side. Enjoy this chapter!

Did Vanya just slam the door on his face? 

Five blinked, still having a hard time fully believing it.

“Vanya?” he asked, raising his voice just enough to ensure Vanya could hear him on the other end, knocking on the door. 

Great, it seemed like he and Vanya were in the middle of a fight in this timeline. It wasn't anything to be too concerned about, he reassured himself. They had a fair share of arguments growing up, but no matter what happened, they always worked it out in the end. Aside from yesterday’s debacle, one of the worst fights they ever had was the time Five had accidentally ripped Vanya’s beloved bird plushie named Lenny. Even though he apologized, he had to deal with her silent treatment for exactly one day, fourteen hours, and twelve minutes.

Not that he had actually kept track.

But, even if he _had_ kept track (hypothetically speaking, of course), it made perfect sense because it had been the most excruciating thirty-eight and one-fifth hours of his life knowing that his best friend was intentionally not talking to him. 

Five acknowledged that he was the more stubborn of the two, but he also learned that day he was even more impatient.

“Come on, V. Whatever it is, I'm sorry, okay? Just open the door.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I really need your help right now,” Five pleaded, hands leaning against the door. “And you're the only one I can trust with this.”

There was a still silence that left Five unsettled. Was she really not going to let him in? He pressed his ear to the door, trying to make out any noise from the other end. When he heard an audible sigh followed by the turn of a knob, Five quickly fumbled a couple of steps away from the entrance to prevent Vanya from knowing he was actually eavesdropping, placing his hands innocently behind his back. 

Vanya avoided his gaze as soon as she swung the door open. Sidestepping, she grumbled, “You have five minutes.” 

Five tried to hide his smile, the corner of his lip quirking into a smirk in its stead. Even if she was mad at him, he knew she would come around. 

Some things never changed.

Hands in his pockets, he casually stepped into Vanya’s apartment towards her living room area, admiring the minimalist interior design. The apartment was smaller than his in size, but it had a comfortable and cozy style to it that seemed to be a perfect fit for Vanya to live on her own.

“Five, what are you…” Vanya trailed off, slowly walking towards him. She stopped once she was a few feet away from him while crossing her arms. “Why are you here?”  
  
“I was _trying_ to tell you before you slammed the door on my face,” Five pointed out. He pursed his lips as soon as he said it, seeing the look of disapproval from Vanya. Okay, now probably wasn’t the best time to pick a fight while she was already miffed at him, but he also couldn't help but feel hurt about her initial reaction especially since he was really looking forward to seeing her again. Regardless, there were more important matters to deal with right now. “V, something strange happened and I don't know how to fix it. Yesterday was my thirteenth birthday and the next thing you know, I’m thirty.” He waved his hand in front of his body before gesturing at Vanya. “And you’re thirty too. I have _chest hair_ now and—”

He paused, realization hitting him like a sack of potatoes.

Holy shit. Vanya had _boobs_.

“Jesus Five, are you on drugs?”

He shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts. He needed to focus. “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, Vanya.” Five scoffed at the accusation. “One of my theories is that my consciousness projected itself forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists in every possible instance of time.”

At least, that was what the main character of the young adult sci-fi novel he had read announced after time traveling.

“Right. I’m the ridiculous one here.” Vanya said with a slow nod. 

Five groaned from frustration. He couldn’t blame her. Being the pragmatic teen that he was, he probably wouldn’t believe Vanya had the situation been reversed. Hell, he still couldn't quite believe it either, had it not been for the failed amount of attempts pinching himself awake on the way to Vanya’s apartment. 

“Okay, I’m aware it sounds crazy, but hear me out. The last thing I remember was being in my closet holding your time machine and as soon as I flipped the switch, it was as if I skipped everything,” Five said incredulously with his arms open wide before plopping them back to his sides. “I can’t remember anything that's happened in the past seventeen years. You need to help me remember my life, V.”

Five noticed the way Vanya stiffened at the mention of her present. 

That was odd. 

“Is this a sick joke?” Vanya spat. “You want me to help you remember?” 

“Of course I do,” Five spoke quietly, caught off guard by her sudden malice. “I wouldn't joke about this.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” he asked, frowning. Vanya never refused to help him when he needed her, or anyone for that matter. Why was she acting like this now? 

“I don’t know anything about you, Five,” Vanya exasperated. “We’re not friends anymore.”

Five felt his heart drop to his stomach, the deafening silence ringing in his ears. “I… I think I misheard you, V,” he said with a nervous chuckle. His face fell when Vanya wasn't laughing with him. “What do you _mean_ we’re not friends anymore?” He took a step towards her, affirming, “Vanya, you're my best friend.”

“Well, you're not mine,” Vanya said in a strained voice, nails digging into her arms. “Not anymore.”

Five drew in a sharp breath, staring at her with wide eyes. He was convinced that this dream had turned into a nightmare.

Was it just him or was the room suddenly spinning? 

“Five?” Vanya asked warily, her hardened expression cracking into restrained concern as she slowly uncrossed her arms. “Are you alright?”

Five felt like his heart was ready to burst out of his chest, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and the back of his neck. He desperately tried gasping for air, suddenly having a hard time breathing properly. 

They weren’t friends? That's impossible. How could they not be friends? He would never let that happen. Not ever. This had to be a prank. It had to be. 

Feeling his legs ready to give out at any moment, Five took the opportunity to fall back on her couch, shaking as he held back tears. He tried to speak, but words weren't able to come out, looking at Vanya with a pained expression.

As if on autopilot, Vanya rushed to the side of the room, frantically opening the windows nearby. Five welcomed the cool breeze of fresh air that rushed against his face.

“Deep breaths, Five.” Vanya instructed earnestly, now kneeling in front of him. “Focus on me, okay?” They kept their eyes locked on each other, Vanya encouraging him to follow her own deep breathing.

This was a familiar scene, except it had usually been Five who helped Vanya get through one of her several panic attacks. The first one Five ever witnessed was at Vanya’s violin recital. She didn’t appear when her name was called, which led to Five sneaking backstage to check on her, only to find Vanya hiding in the corner, trembling uncontrollably. Five had held her hand as he tried to distract her by rambling about an incredibly embarrassing story of the time he nearly got a concussion while trying to do a backflip in the pool. Luckily, it did the trick as it had helped her calm down.

Once his breathing finally steadied, Vanya stood back up from where she knelt. “I'll be right back. I'll just get you some water,” Vanya relayed before disappearing to the kitchen.

Ironic how she was the one taking care of him this time around.

When Vanya reappeared with a glass of water in hand, Five took it, slowly drinking the cold liquid with shaky hands until he could feel his lightheadedness subside. After a few minutes of composing himself, he croaked, “We’re really not friends anymore?” Had he still been in his thirteen-year-old body, he was sure his voice would crack at the absurdity of this discovery. Instead, it just sounded like his voice went an octave higher. “When did we stop being friends?”

Vanya was quiet, looking at him in surprise, searching his eyes as if she were trying to find any signs of pretense. Eventually, she murmured, “Your thirteenth birthday party.”

She had to be joking. He had to admit that the fight they had was bad, but he couldn’t imagine it leading to a fall out. He was even planning to apologize to her today before he woke up to whatever this was.

This didn't add up. If they stopped being friends ever since then, why had he kept a photo of them in his desk drawer? If they hadn't even been roommates before, why had he named his dog Mr. Pennycrumb? 

What the hell happened these past seventeen years?

“Five, maybe you should go rest at your place,” Vanya suggested. She bit her lip as if having a mental battle with herself, examining him carefully. “I can help you find it if you need—”

“Can you?” Five interrupted before she could even finish her offer. If they really hadn't been friends for all these years, this was his chance to change that. 

He refused to give up on their friendship, now more than ever.

* * *

Five glanced at Vanya, quickly avoiding her gaze every time he caught her about to look his way. Christ, he was acting like a kindergartener. What was he even doing?

Just yesterday they had been walking home from school, and here they were now, walking back to his apartment like practical strangers.

Five had spent the past ten minutes trying to figure out what had caused their fallout, but Vanya kept deflecting most of his questions. He knew that she was hiding something, and he was determined to figure out what. 

“What about our annual holiday dinners? Didn’t we see each other then?”

“I mean, our parents tried to set something up when we were home from college, remember? But you stormed off saying you had better things to do.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I don't know, Five, you tell me. You were acting surprisingly tolerable until Sissy arrived.”

“Sissy?”

“Yeah, my girlfriend,” Vanya paused. “Well, ex-girlfriend now.”  
  
Five hummed in response. Vanya had confided in him when they were eleven that she _“liked liked”_ both boys and girls while they were in the middle of perusing through his _National Geographic_ magazines, seeming anxious about his reaction when she had confessed it initially. He had looked at her, feeling a sudden worry in his chest if this discovery had changed the fact that he was her best friend. As soon as she confirmed it didn't, a wave of relief had rushed over him, similar to how it did just now when Vanya described whoever this Sissy person was as an ex. 

It was a strange feeling, but he decided to push it away for now, thinking he had dealt with too many confusing emotions for one day. 

* * *

“So, this is your apartment?” Vanya asked, looking at the front door of his residence.

“This is it alright.” 

“Okay, well. Hope you get some rest then, Five.” Vanya responded, turning herself around to make her way back to the elevator.

“You’re leaving already?” Five inquired, brows furrowed. “Don’t you want to come in?”

“I don't think that's such a good id—”

Vanya was interrupted by the sound of a bark from the other side of the door, followed by scratching of the wood. 

“You have a dog?” Vanya asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” Five answered. Looks like Vanya really didn’t know about Mr. Pennycrumb after all. “Want to meet him? He’s a Golden Retriever.”

Her favorite breed. 

“... I guess a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.”

Five smiled, grateful that Vanya’s love for dogs outweighed whatever had happened between them. Once Five unlocked his door and ushered Vanya to come in, she was immediately met by Mr. Pennycrumb jumping on her side, tail wagging excitedly.

Vanya’s eyes immediately softened, an expression that Five hadn’t seen from her all day, and crouched down, laughing as soon as Mr. Pennycrumb licked her face. “Hey there,” she said enthusiastically, ruffling up the canine’s fur. “What’s your name?”

“Mr. Pennycrumb.”

Vanya froze, staring up at Five in disbelief before going straight to the dog tag as if Five’s words weren't good enough to convince her that he was telling the truth. “You… really named him Mr. Pennycrumb?”

“Of course I did.”

“But why?”

“We made a pinky promise, didn’t we?” Five responded, as if it was the most obvious reason in the world. 

“I didn’t take you for one to actually commit to it given, well, you know.”

Five couldn’t help but wince, feeling a sudden pang in his chest. Even though Vanya had said they were no longer friends, a part of him still hoped that it wasn’t true. 

He guessed their pinky promise was never completely fulfilled, after all. 

Trying to change the subject, he directed her to take a seat in his living room with Mr. Pennycrumb happily behind their trail. “Uh, did you want anything to drink?” Five offered, gesturing towards the kitchen.

Vanya sat down on the couch, continuing to keep her full attention on Mr. Pennycrumb. “No thanks,” she replied curtly. “I won’t be long.”

“Oh.” Five scanned through his living room while tapping his fingers against his sides, looking for _anything_ to help continue their conversation for a little while longer. His eyes landed on The Umbrella Academy’s Senior High School yearbook. He walked over to it, pulling it out of the bookshelf and sat next to Vanya, who ended up turning her gaze at him in curiosity.

“Ah, our high school yearbook. Great memories that had,” she uttered sarcastically.

Five flipped through it, catching his eye at a photo of him in the middle of Five Hive. “I can’t believe I actually made it in Five Hive.”

“You were practically their leader,” Vanya said, the pets that she gave Mr. Pennycrumb slowing down. 

Once he flipped through a few more pages, he caught sight of a picture of him wrapping his arms around Delores. His eyes widened, “I went to prom with Delores Manikyn.”  
  
“Mmhmm.” 

Five turned his head at Vanya, completely dumbfounded, “And we were Prom King and Queen?”

“Yep.” 

“Holy shit.” Five said, grinning as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe it.” 

“Congratulations, Five,” Vanya deadpanned, eyes downcast. “You got everything you wanted.”

_Well, not everything._

“V, what happened between us?” Five prompted. “I need to know.” 

“It was a long time ago, Five.” Vanya said, shaking her head, “It doesn’t really matter now.”  
  
“But it does. It matters to me,” Five insisted. “Look, I know that—”

The phone started to ring. Realizing it could be his mother on the line, he asked Vanya to give him a second and walked over to the kitchen to answer the phone. 

“Hello?”

_“Five, where the hell have you been? You haven't answered any of my calls.”_

It was Ben. 

“Oh, uh. Just tied up right now.”

_“Yeah, yeah. Just don't forget I’ll be picking you up at 8:30 pm sharp, so be sure you’re dressed in cocktail attire by the time I get there. Allison will murder us if we’re not there by 9 pm.”_

“... Okay, sure. Where is it again?”

He heard Ben sigh on the other end of the phone. 

Five made eye contact with Vanya once he noticed her walking towards his door. She mouthed that she was going to head out, turning the knob as she did so. 

No, no, no, no, no.

_“The party’s at Hotel Oblivion on the corner of Gerard Way and Gabriel Boulevard.”_

“Got it, thanks.” Five hurriedly said before hanging up the phone and rushing towards the front door. He swung it open, finding Vanya waiting for the elevator in the middle of the hallway. “I have a work party tonight,” he blurted, catching his breath. “For National Geographic. Did you want to come?” 

“Uh, no thanks. It’s okay, Five. You don't have to invite me.”  
  
“But I _want_ to invite you. I know how much you enjoyed reading the magazines with me when we were kids. It’d be great if you’d come,” he urged, hand tightening on the door knob in anticipation.

Vanya looked at him strangely, “You really want me to go?”  
  
“Of course I do, V.” Without skipping a beat, he added, “I’ve missed you.”

It was nice to know that Five could still read Vanya’s expression to some extent. She was completely taken aback by his words, as if he had just told her that the world was ending in seven days, but he also wasn't quite sure if that was a good or bad thing. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Vanya conceded, “I'll think about it, but no promises.” 

Five’s face lit up. He’d take it. Remembering what Ben had told him a few moments ago, he recited, “The party starts at 9 pm. It's going to be cocktail attire at Hotel Oblivion on the corner of Gerard Way and Gabriel Boulevard.” 

Vanya nodded, turning her attention back to the front of the elevator.

“Hey, Vanya?”  
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“See you in heaven, Seven.”

“Bye, Five.” 

“ _Vanya_ ,” Five called, looking at her expectantly.

After a few moments of silence, she let out a breath, watching the elevator doors open in front of her, avoiding eye contact. “Stay alive, Five.” 

Five smiled fondly at her. “Hope you come to the party tonight, V,” he said before closing the door to his apartment.

As soon as he shut the door, Vanya turned her head where Five had stood, deep in thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Your comments continue to make me smile, and I love knowing that FGO30 has been bringing a lot of readers the nostalgia from when they had first watched the movie. Next chapter will be the National Geographic party with a small twist at the end! 
> 
> For any Fiveya [Neopets AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615407?view_full_work=true) readers out there, I hope you enjoyed the Easter Eggs I sprinkled in this chapter.


	4. Liquid Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Five will be drunk in this chapter. Nothing bad will come from it, but I want to give a heads up in case the topic may be uncomfortable to some readers!

“Should I go with the black tie or blue tie?”

Mr. Pennycrumb barked, raising one of his paws closer to the blue tie that Five held. 

“Good choice.” Five complimented, rewarding his dog with a scratch on the head. He was amused at how much the white spot on top of Mr. Pennycrumb’s head looked like the shape of an umbrella, wondering if that had been the reason why his older self had specifically chosen the dog in the first place. 

Five was also surprised to discover he had a large walk-in closet filled with a variety of outfits and accessories, putting on his tie in front of the full length mirror that conveniently hung from the inside. He stepped out of his closet and glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. He had about ten minutes to spare before Ben would arrive at his apartment complex. 

Leaving his bedroom, he sauntered into the kitchen to grab his landline, dialing his home phone number. With all of the events that had been going on today, he realized he hadn’t been able to return his mother’s call. He listened to the phone ring, and immediately perked up as soon as he heard someone pick up the line.

_“Hello?”_

“Mom?”

_“Hi honey, how are you?”_

Five sighed in relief, a smile creeping on his face as his grasp on the phone tightened. It had only been a day for him, but he found comfort hearing his mother's voice after everything he had been through.

“Hey Mom. I’m good,” Five responded, voice softening. “Sorry it took a while to call you back.”

Five’s mind trailed off to when Ben had mentioned that his older self specifically requested to screen all of his mother’s calls. His gut twisted at the very notion. Five had often thought about the day when he would eventually leave for college and move out of the house, worried that his mother would be lonely without him around. He grew up never really knowing his father, having left them when Five was just a baby. If his father had the audacity to leave his mother and him to fend for their own, then he didn’t need to know much more about him. Good riddance to that prick. Grace was enough for him.

_“That’s okay, sweetie. I know you’re busy! I’m about to have a Girls’ Night with Tatiana. She insisted we go out dancing on Friday nights ever since her husband joined the bowling league.”_

“Oh, that’s good.” Five said, also finding solace from discovering that she was still good friends with Vanya’s mother. “Speaking of the Belyaev family... Can I ask you something, Mom?”

_“Of course. Is everything okay?”_

“Everything’s fine,” Five reassured, straightening his posture as he idly began drumming his fingers onto the kitchen counter. “It’s about Vanya.”

 _“Vanya?”_ His mother repeated, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t happen to know… why we weren’t as close as before, would you?”

 _“Oh, honey. Believe me, I wish I knew. Tatiana and I tried to figure it out ourselves ever since you stopped being friends, but you two wouldn’t budge every time we asked.”_ _  
_ _  
_ “Ah, that’s okay.” Five tried to hide his disappointment. 

_“Why do you ask?”_

“No reason really,” Five said, keeping his voice steady. “I just seem to have forgotten after all these years, is all.” He looked at the clock hanging from his living room wall. “I should probably go. I have a work party tonight and my ride is going to pick me up any minute. Love you, Mom.”

_“I love you too.”_

A looming guilt swirled over him once another thought occurred to him. When was the last time his thirty-year-old self actually visited her? He decided it wasn't the smartest idea to ask her this, knowing full well that would be an even more awkward and odd topic to bring up compared to his previous question about Vanya.

“Mom?”

_“Yes, dear?”_

“I promise I'll call back soon… and I'll try to visit more often.”

There was a silent pause from the other end. 

“Mom? Are you still there?”

 _“Yes, honey. I’m still here.”_ Grace chuckled, sounding like her smile widened as she continued speaking, _“That would be lovely if you came to visit. Be sure to let me know ahead of time so I can get your room prepared. I hope you have fun and stay safe at the party.”_

“I will. Have a great time with Mrs. Belyaev.” 

* * *

Five could understand why Allison was the Head of Special Events. The extravagant decor that surrounded Hotel Oblivion shocked Five as soon as he and Ben stepped into the venue. There were crowds of people that filled the room and waiters at every corner serving hors d’oeuvres. Ben gestured for Five to follow after him, catching sight of the rest of Five Hive hanging around at the bar.

Once Five and Ben approached the bar counter, the group greeted them along with the bartender. “What'll it be?”

“Your usual Rémy Martin neat, Five?” Ben asked.

“Uh, sure,” Five agreed, not really knowing what a Rémy Martin neat actually was, but he couldn't help but smirk at the sudden realization. Of course. He was _thirty_ now, which meant that he was legally allowed to drink. “One Rémy Martin neat,” Five requested from the woman. He thought about what those actors in the movies would say when they ordered their drinks and added, “Shaken, not stirred.”

The bartender’s eyebrow quirked up as she looked at Five quizzically, then turned her head to Ben for assistance.

“Sorry, he’s kidding. He’ll have it neat,” Ben clarified, shaking his head in embarrassment. “And I'll just have some water since I'm driving.”

“Make that two waters,” Diego ordered, propping himself on the seat next to Ben.

“You’re not drinking either?” Five inquired.

“No way. My body is a _temple_ ,” Diego replied, patting his abdomen. “I’m surprised you still have the willpower to put that poison into your body after being so hungover this mor—” 

“That’s the old man,” Klaus interjected to the group, gesturing towards Reginald standing at the entrance. “One of you needs to start entertaining him while I schmooze with corporate for a bit.” 

Five turned his head to catch a glimpse of the conservationist. _That_ was the infamous Sir Reginald? Five tried not to snort, mentally comparing the man that held the future of Five Hive’s careers to Mr. Peanut.

“I’ll do it.” Luther volunteered in excitement. “I’ve always wanted to meet him after reading his latest book about the sparrows of North America.”

Allison gingerly held Luther by the arm and smiled. “And I’ll join him in case he needs reinforcements.”

“Okay, good,” Klaus affirmed. “The rest of you… I don't know, make yourselves look busy, I guess.” He grabbed a shot of tequila from the counter and downed it before slamming the glass back onto the table. “Well, showtime,” he grumbled. Almost instantly, Klaus flashed a grin as he strode towards the group of people in suits across the room.

Once the bartender offered Five the glass of cognac, his nose involuntarily twitched from the pungent smell. 

Well, maybe it wouldn't taste that bad. 

Noticing that only a quarter of the glass was full, Five decided to imitate the way Klaus had done it, pouring the entire drink into his mouth at once. His eyes widened and immediately spat the beverage back into his glass while Ben and Diego were too preoccupied conversing with each other to even notice. However, the lack of attention was short-lived as Five unceremoniously had a coughing fit, face scrunched up from utter repulsion as his coworkers turned their heads in his direction.

What the hell? People _willingly_ drank this? _Gross._

“Got anything sweeter?” Five asked hoarsely to the bartender while clearing his throat, disregarding the perplexed looks from his two coworkers.

* * *

Now _this_ was what he was talking about. 

Five chugged down another Mudslide cocktail that the bartender offered him, savoring the taste of the chocolate and coffee liqueur lingering on his tongue. He was already on his fifth, or maybe it was his seventh, beverage. He wasn't too sure.

Five typically prided himself with his high proficiency in math, but at that very moment, he didn’t give a _fuck_ that he had lost count.

“How much alcohol did you say this was again?” Five asked the bartender.

“Uh, around 30%,” she replied back.  
  
“That’s it?” Five frowned in disappointment, glaring at the empty glass as if it had offended him in some way. 

“Can you get him a glass of water, please?” Ben whispered at the bartender. “I think he’s had enough for the night.” 

“Have you two seriously been here all this time?” Diego complained as he had quickened his pace towards them. “I need backup. The Handler’s here.” 

“The what now?” Five questioned.

“The Handler.” Diego tipped his chin at the woman walking towards them. “Smithsonian’s Editor in Chief at two o’clock and headed our way.” 

Her name was the Handler? What kind of name was that? And people thought Five had an odd name.

“Are you serious, Diego? We can't afford to make a scene at the party,” Ben admonished.

“Relax, Ben. I’m just going to have a little chat with her as Head of Security.” 

“You’re Head of _IT_ Security,” Ben reminded, putting a heavy emphasis on ‘IT’. 

“Same shit,” Diego remarked, completely ignoring Ben’s protests in response. He lightly slapped Five’s arm with the back of his hand. “Come on, Five. Let’s go.” 

Five nodded as he stood up from the stool, instantly regretting it as the room suddenly started spinning. He spent a few moments gripping on the counter to regain his balance until he felt steady enough to take another step. “Right.” 

Five and Diego made their way towards the Handler, who greeted them with a strained smile. “Ah, Five, Diego. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Cut the crap. What’re you doing here?” 

“Why do you think there's always a motive, Diego? I'm simply here to support your little shindig, especially since rumor has it that _National Geographic’s_ sales have been plummeting this year.” The Handler began tutting, “Such a shame. Our newest issue is selling like hot cakes in comparison.”

“At least our ideas weren't _stolen_ ,” Diego quipped back.

“That's quite the accusation. Regardless, perhaps it was time you consider rebranding your magazine as a more appropriate name,” the Handler suggested with a sickly sweet tone. “Oh, I know! How about _National Disaster?_ Or better yet, _National Disgrace_. No need to thank me. I'll simply ask my assistant to invoice you for the consultation I provided.”

Five glowered. Who did this lady think she was?

“Nice comeback _._ The Hand, was it?” Five slurred, squinting at the Handler. 

“The Handler,” she corrected with a frown.

“Whatever. I don't know who you think you are, but you are rude and creepy,” he accused as he pointed his finger at her during his declaration. “I don’t like you at all.” 

Diego nodded along at Five’s words as if it was the most profound speech he’s ever heard, smiling with a ferocious gaze directed at the Handler as his hand clamped on Five's shoulder to show his support. “What he said. And tell your daughter to fuck off.” 

Five knitted his brows in confusion, looking at Diego. “Her daughter?”

“You’re killing me here, man.” Diego muttered through gritted teeth, his eyes ready to bulge out from his sockets. “Lila and I dated, remember?” 

“And thank goodness she came to her senses to dump you, Diego,” the Handler stated, her smile never faltering. “I would much rather have a goldfish as a son-in-law over you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen.” She pushed herself past Five and Diego, the sound of her high heels clacking away.

Klaus approached Diego and Five with another drink in hand, Ben in tow. “Well, fuck me sideways. Corporate isn’t happy that people are starting to leave already,” he said. “Do you know how Luther and Allison are doing with Sir Reggie?” 

Five glanced over at Luther and Allison, the former laughing a little _too_ loudly at something Sir Reginald had said and patting him roughly on the shoulder, while the latter eyed their group and pursed her lips, clearly sending silent ‘SOS’ signals their way. 

“Not well by the looks of it,” Ben murmured.

“Sir Reggie won’t even think about being a speaker for our _National Geographic Live_ event if this party is a dud. We need to do something to make people stop leaving. If not,” Klaus held his drink high up in the air before chugging it down, “Cheers to early retirement.”

Five hummed, trying to process _most_ of what Klaus was saying. “Well, the music sucks for one. Maybe if they played something better, people would actually try to use the dance floor.”

“Allison assigned _you_ to create the setlist, remember?” Ben recalled. “You said last week that it would make anyone start dancing.”

Seriously, the more he learned about his older self, the more of a stranger he practically became. 

“ _Christ on a cracker._ Do I have to do _everything?_ Now I gotta go try to salvage what little chance we have with the old man before _Smithsonian_ gets to him first,” Klaus whined after noticing the Handler casually stepping in front of Luther and Allison to introduce herself to Sir Reginald. “Figure out a way to make the guests dance. Hell, they can even make out for all I care. _Anything_ but leave the party. Make it happen,” Klaus instructed before leaving the group.

“Isn’t that Vanya Belyaev? Who the fuck invited her?” Diego inquired, his voice dripping in annoyance.

Five’s heart quickened from hearing Vanya’s name, whipping his head at the entrance only to find Vanya there, timidly surveying the room. Five thought his best friend looked pretty having her hair down and slightly curled, wearing an all-white jumpsuit with a blazer for the occasion. Five’s mood turned sour once he realized the vindictive way Diego spoke about Vanya. Jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed at Diego. Vanya said he was practically Five Hive’s leader at one point, right? Maybe that line of authority still stuck with the group in some way. “I invited her,” Five declared, challenging Diego by taking a step closer. “Got a problem with that?”

“Easy, Five.” Ben stepped in between the two before they could get any closer. “Don't mind him, Diego. It's the alcohol talking,” Ben reminded, Diego scowling in response, but forcing himself to relax his body nonetheless. “Like I said before, the last thing we need is to cause a scene.” After saying this, Ben calmly asked Five, “Was this why you wanted me to find Vanya’s address earlier? You wanted to invite her to the party?”

Five bit the side of his cheek as he gave Ben a curt nod. Ben and Diego exchanged silent looks in response, but he wasn’t interested in discussing this topic with them any further. Instead, Five averted his eyes on Vanya once more, who roamed her way into the venue. 

Briefly remembering Klaus’ plea to make the party even more exciting, Five decided to leave Ben and Diego behind and headed to the empty dance floor, approaching the DJ towards the back of the room. 

Despite whatever may have happened all those years ago, Vanya still came to the party. It could only mean one thing: there was a glimmer of hope that they could still be friends.

When he reached the DJ, he requested a song to play before making his way to the center of the dance floor, feeling braver with liquid courage on his side. 

He ignored the stares he received, keeping his gaze on Vanya. Five finally caught her attention as she slowly moved her way through the crowd to take a peek at what he was doing. 

It was then that the music started to play, and Five could only smile as soon as he saw Vanya’s eyebrows shot up in surprise from instantly recognizing the song. 

Since fifth grade, Vanya had quite the obsession with the artist Tiffany, encouraging Five to be her dance partner whenever she was in the mood to blast the music in her room for a study break. He reluctantly agreed to dance with her each time, despite the amount of embarrassment he felt whenever they did, having a hard time saying no to her whenever she gave her puppy dog pout. 

“Vanya!” Five exclaimed conspicuously with a goofy grin plastered on his face, waving his arms excitedly as he began to awkwardly bob his head to the song. “Come on, it’s one of your favorites.” 

A spotlight appeared under him, Five using his right arm to shield his eyes, squinting from the sudden glare that appeared in his line of vision. 

_Children behave,  
_ _that's what they say when we're together_

“Five, are you crazy? No way.” Vanya hissed back and shook her head. As she tried to back away, another spotlight focused directly on her. “Shit.”

 _And watch how you play  
_ _They don't understand  
_ _And so we're_

“Oh for the love of God, V.” Five pouted, walking up to her and gently tugging on her hands. If he was going to wake up the next morning and die from mortification at the thought of him dancing in front of hundreds of strangers, he sure as hell planned to drag his best friend down with him. 

_Running just as fast as we can,  
holding on to one another hands _

“I can’t dance,” Vanya hissed.

“That’s a lie,” Five bit back, pulling her along with him in the middle of the dance floor. “You made me dance with you loads of times.”

 _Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me  
_ _And we tumble to the ground and then you say_

Five let go of her left hand and spun her around using his right hand, rewarding him with a flustered expression from her end. Even when she was older, Vanya looked just as cute as her thirteen-year-old self with the tint of red apparent on her cheeks.

Biting her lip, Vanya began to dance, stiff as a board as she kept glancing around at the crowd’s full attention directed at them. 

_I think we're alone now,  
_ _There doesn't seem to be anyone around  
_ _I think we're alone now,  
_ _The beating of our hearts is the only sound_

As they continued dancing together, Five could tell that Vanya was still feeling self-conscious. So, without much thought, he tried to distract her from her own insecurities by doing the Macarena.

“Are you seriously doing the Macarena to _I Think We’re Alone Now?”_ She snorted incredulously. “How much did you drink already?”

“You can always do the Macarena to any beat, V. That's what you taught me back then.”

 _Look at the way we gotta hide what we're doin'  
_ _'Cause what would they say  
_ _If they ever knew  
_ _And so we're_

“We look like complete idiots, Five. No one else is dancing with us.” 

Five scoffed at the crowd, continuing to do the Macarena. “Their loss. At least we’ll look like idiots together.” 

Vanya dropped the discussion, rolling her eyes instead and shaking her head. Nonetheless, she followed his lead by doing the Macarena with him, suppressing a laugh as she did so. 

Five could feel his stomach doing somersaults. He always felt a sense of accomplishment every time he was able to make Vanya smile and laugh. The fact that he was able to do so now, albeit just a little bit, made the public humiliation completely worth it.

_Running just as fast as we can,  
holding on to one another hands _

Soon, the crowd surrounding them finally decided to join in on the fun. From the sidelines, Diego seemed to do the running man as he said something to provoke Luther. Frowning, Luther turned to Allison and offered his hand, who gladly accepted it as he led them closer to the center of the dance floor.

 _Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me  
_ _And we tumble to the ground and then you say_

Vanya slid out a genuine smile at Five as they gazed at each other while dancing, only for Vanya to break eye contact once she seemed to have recognized the other familiar faces that appeared in her line of vision amongst the crowd. Her smile immediately fell as her eyes widened. Anxiously, she whispered, “You work with them?”

 _I think we're alone now,  
_ _There doesn't seem to be anyone around_

“Yeah, why?” Five assumed that she was referring to Five Hive after noticing them closer to their vicinity, but they were all too busy dancing with one another to really acknowledge them at that moment. He cocked his head and raised a brow. 

Why would that matter? 

_I think we're alone now,  
_ _The beating of our hearts is the only sound_

“I should go. Thanks for the invite, Five, but it wouldn't be a good idea if they saw me right now.” She began to lightly push past the crowd, Five still standing dumbly from where they had danced prior.

 _I think we're alone now,  
_ _There doesn't seem to be anyone around_

“What?” Five inquired, frantically trying to catch up with her. “Vanya, wait!” He called, slowly watching her being swallowed by the crowd. Before he could take a step further, the rest of Five Hive surrounded Five, ecstatic at the positive turn of events of the party.

 _I think we're alone now,  
_ _The beating of our hearts is the only sound_

* * *

Five sat up from his bed and groaned, feeling a splitting headache and nausea coming into play from drinking too much. It was Saturday morning, and Five quickly began to recollect the events from the night before. 

Five couldn't figure out why Vanya seeing Five Hive would cause her to leave so abruptly. Sure, Vanya wasn't a big fan of the group, especially Diego, but that was so far in the past. Why would it matter now? 

Five's thoughts were interrupted once Mr. Pennycrumb started pawing under Five’s bed, whining while doing so, which piqued his curiosity. 

“What’re you looking for, Mr. Pennycrumb?”

Thinking his dog was trying to reach for one of his favorite toys, Five got out of his bed, clutching his head as he did so from the sharp pain that came from getting up too fast, and knelt to the floor, extending his hand underneath until he felt around for a toy. 

Five felt a rectangular-shaped object instead. With furrowed brows, he pulled it out from under the bed. He froze in disbelief, gaping at the picture of the woman on the front cover.

In his hands was a book entitled _Extra Ordinary_ by Vanya Belyaev.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I wanted to make it on the more lighthearted side, considering what's to come. So, Vanya’s book exists in this AU. *gasp* Will it give Five some answers, or leave him with more questions? 🤔
> 
> For any readers who may not know, having your drink “neat” means you’re requesting to have the alcohol poured straight from the bottle without any added ingredients, including ice. Five asking for his drink “shaken, not stirred” left the bartender confused because that entails shaking the alcohol in ice, which defeats the purpose of requesting a drink neat. Lmao.
> 
> Finally, my friend [fiveyaaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/works) created a [Top 20 for 2020 Fiveya Fic List](https://fiveyaaas.tumblr.com/post/641593826752020480/20-fics-for-2020-rated-g-rated-t-and-not-rated). Since this is a T-rated fic, I'll only share the G/T-rated rec post! Tori worked really hard compiling the list and creating the AMAZING moodboards, so please check it out if you're looking for some Fiveya fic recommendations! 
> 
> I appreciate you all so much for your continued support, and I'll see you in the next chapter! 🥰🥰🥰


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